have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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