I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
