Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
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i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You're like the curious george of whores
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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