They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
