Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
