GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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