Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
