party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
