its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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