remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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