dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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