she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love you. Go after that dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
