I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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