i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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