Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize