Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
