well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
