you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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