so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Randomize
