we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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