It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
