Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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