I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
