So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
