did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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