he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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