I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think a kid would responsible me up
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It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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