I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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