if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize