Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
