He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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