do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
being pregnant is like rehab
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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