wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
