she woke up with a sticky ear
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
