Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
