I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
