yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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