i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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