What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
