I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
