I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
