woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
