We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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