no, he came in my armpit
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
