My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
where are you?
Hypothermia
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
