i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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