she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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