you didnt know i had herpes?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
