We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
