I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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