Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
