I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
