Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
