The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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