shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize