She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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