then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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