That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
